Imagine Normality 1
Imagine Normality
     by: Al-I-Bus

Eva and it characters are owned by Gainax.  Eva:R is an Orbit Production, and
End of Evangelion is owned by Gainax.  All characters are created by Hideo Anno
( stupid dickhead), except those characters from Eva:R which were created by
Orbit Productions

Look, this is part one, I'm redoing it...I don't know why.  I guess it'll make
it better, I know for one thing that it's a lot easier to describe things in
prose than script.  I'm gonna keep a lot of the shit from the orignial series

You may want to buy some face soap or whatever you use to keep it clean cuz this
is chock full of sweetness.  I mean super sugary, WAFFY!!!!!  I didn't know I
had it in me...I even gave myself a Warm and Fuzzy Feeling.


Other notes: * * indicates thoughts,   < > indicates an action noise.  And
finally a string of ****** denotes a change in time/location.

" Wake up asshole!" Shinji felt himself being dragged up from the depths of a
dream.  Well a nightmare more precisely, one where Nerv had gotten its ass
kicked by the UN, Asuka had been hurt badly, and everyone was going to die.  He
shuddered as he remembered the dream.  Then he had the air in his lungs forced
out by a powerful blow to the chest.

Groaning, he opened his eyes slightly and saw a red blur flash in and out of
focus.  Then he realized he was being shaken.

" I swear to God, third child, if you don't wake up, it's all over for you.  
I'll make your life sooooooooo miserable."
Asuka was angry, but she had a twinkle in her eye.  For some reason this seemed
to be fun today.  More fun than usual.  Not to mention the fact that she enjoyed
stradling Shinji, even though she'd never admit it to him.

Shinji's vision cleared up and all of his awareness returned just as Asuka
pushed up and then slammed down on him again.  This time Shinji had a normal
teenage male reaction to being ridden by a beautiful, well-developed, teenage
female.  Unfortuanetly for him, Asuka thought he had taken it a little to far
when she felt something pushing against her panties ( REMEMBER THEY WEAR SKIRTS


Five minutes later Shinji and Asuka can be seen sprinting down the street
heading towards Tokyo-3 Municipal Junior High School.  They were two blocks away
from the school when they halted to let traffic pass.  As he watches the cars
whiz by, Shinji can't help but glance over at his red-headed roommate.
* She's so pretty, I can't help myself.  Maybe I'll ask her today......*

He was snapped back into reality by a playful smack from Asuka.
" Hey what're ya lookin at third child?  Was it my flawless face? Or perhaps it
was my lovely body.  Maybe you were gazing into my beautiul azure eyes?  
Well.....?  Which was it you moron!?"

Shinji blushed profusely as he searched for a response.
" Umm..I was just......umm...i was just..umm..thinking!  About...ummm....the
synch tests."
* Phew she almost had me*

Asuka just nodded knowingly.  She turned away from Shinji and faced the traffic
again, speaking softly to him over her shoulder.
" Of course....nevermind, I guess....... when you assume <Sigh> you make an ass
out of you and me." < Sigh>

Shinji cocked an eyebrow, confused.
* What's going on?  One second she's being normal, teasing and tormenting me,
now she's being all soft and sensetive......maybe it's that time..*
" Hey Asuka, is it that time of the month already?"

She turned back to him, her face taking on a myriad of expressions.  First she
looked shocked, then surprised, then angry, then finally, right before she
lashed out at him, amused.
" Oh you're so dead, Ikari!"

She fired a quick right out at Shinji, who ducked and tried to run past her, but
Asuka was quicker than him.  Lashing out with her right foot, she connected with
his thigh causing him to stumble.  Unfortuanetly for her, he stumbled right into
her causing her to lose her balance and tumble to the ground with him.  Asuka
rolled as she hit the ground, and Shinji rolled with her.  They ended up,
tangled up, next to a bench, in a small park next to the road.  They little trip
had carried them into a little secluded patch of the park, surrounded by bushes.

Shaking his head to clear out the cobwebs, Shinji looked up.  On top of him, and
a bit dazed also, was Asuka.  She looked down at him, her perfectly blue eyes
shining with joy, one of her rare I'm_Real_Happy_And_You_Better_Feel_Lucky
smiles plastered on her face.  In a blind moment of bravery Shinji reached up,
pulled her down to him, and kissed her gently on the lips.

The fact that Shinji had gathered up enough balls to kiss her was amazing to
Asuka.  What amazed her even more, and scared her a little, was the fact that
she liked it, and kissed back.  She suppressed a giggle as she felt Shinji tense
up beneath her as she explored his mouth with her tongue.  Finally she pulled
away, looking at him expectantly.
" can ask now."

Shinji blushed a little, a scratched his head ( NOT THAT ONE!) embarrassed.
" Umm...well...I..uh I, ahem, I really like you Asuka...and I was wondering
if...if...if you'd like to ..ummm go out with me?"

Asuka's smile brightened, if that was possible, and she hugged Shinji, laying
her head on his chest, listening to his, now, uneven breathing.
" Yeah why not?" she answered flippantly.

They lay like that for a moment when a light bulb suddenly flashed over Asuka's
head.  Pushing herself up off of Shinji she yanked her bookbag off the ground,
and yanked him upright.  Pausing to brush some of the twigs and other annoyances
off of her skirt, she turned to Shinji.
" We are late.  Very late.  I suggest running now."

That said she took off sprinting, dragging Shinji behind her ( His legs had
fallen asleep while Asuka was resting on him.)


Misato sat up suddenly, and immediately put a hand to her forehead.  She looked
around her bedroom wildly, eyes searching for something.  Then she saw it.  Next
to her, on the night table lay her ivory white cross.  Sighing she sank back
into the warm recesses of her covers.

Sleep didn't return, however, as the memories of her dream still plagued her.  
She had been taking Shinji to his eva to help Asuka when she was shot.  She
remembered giving Shinji her cross and then kissing him, a moment later Kaji had
appeared in front of her and then....well then it was all blank after that.

She shuddered involuntarily at the idea that she was that close to death.  Even
though it was a dream, it felt so real.  Misato shrugged and turned over,
closing her eyes.  A moment later she was awakened, realizing two things.  One,
there was an incredible amount of banging and squawking going on at her door,
and two, there was an incessant blaring in her ears as the phone rang.

Jumping up, Misato made it to the phone just in time to hear Ritsuko say goodbye
on the answering machine.
* Stupid phone, and stupid penguin.*
" I HATE THE MORNING!!!!" she screamed out to no one in particular.  Grumbling
she pressed the play button on her answering machine.  Ritsuko's tired voice
came through the speaker:
" Good morning Misato. < YAWN> < SIGH> You don't have to come in today, unless
there is an emergency.  Tell the kids that their synchronization tests will be
canceled for today, unless they are informed otherwise.  The stupid machines
aren't running right, and guess whose gotta stay and be triple shifted in order
to fix things up again.  Oh well another day in the life of the beautiful, mad
scientist.  See ya!"

The machine beeped and was silent as Misato danced happily.
" I've got the day off, hahahaha, No work for meeeee!!!"  Grabbing Pen-Pen's
fins she proceeded to do a quick jig around the apartment with the protesting
penguin, who was struggling to get away.

Finally she ceased her singing and dancing and noticed Pen-Pen laying on the
floor, holding his stomach.  Raising an eyebrow curiously she poked the penguin
in the head.
" What's wrong with you?  C'mon get up!"

The penguin just rolled around more on the floor.  Glancing around the kitchen
Misato noticed that a frozen fish was laying on the floor.
" I see, you're hungry!" Pen-Pen leapt up and nodded enthusiastically.  Misato
giggled and picked up the fish.
" I'll make it for you!" Pen-Pen shook his head in horror, waving his flippers

Misato noticed and stuck her tongue out at him,
" I can do it...."
*How hard can it be to heat up a fish anyway?...................*


" And you expect me to believe that you were unable to cross the street because
of traffic for TWENTY minutes?!"
The professor eyed Shinji and Asuka suspiciously.  Asuka, as usual, looked
confident, but the other one, Shinji, seemed very nervous, even more so than
usual.  Grinning slyly the professor continued onwards with his assualt.
" And I suppose that the reason your hair is full of twigs and leaves, Ms.
Sohryu, is because you were standing under a tree, hmmm?"

Asuka gulped audibly and nodded shakily, Shinji on the other heand, was blood
red and having trouble breathing.  Behind them the class had erupted into
laughter, even Hikari joining in.  Eventually things quieted down and Asuka and
Shinji were given bucket duty out in the hallway.

Of course, seeing as it's middle school, romours started to fly around about the
real reason that Asuka and Shinji were tardy.  By lunch things were a bit out of
hand.  The worst part of it all was that Shinji and Asuka couldn't even defend
themselves.  As further punishment for being late, they were given clean up duty
during lunch.

Hikari plopped down next to Toji and Kensuke.  Glancing at first one then the
other she asked,
" Okay, so what's the newest one?"

Kensuke grinned, swallowed a bite of his lunch, and replied:
" That Shinji got Misato pregnant and Asuka was furious with jealousy and she
sprinted out of the house.  Shinji followed her and finally caught up with her
in the woods.  After apologizing and convincing her that she was the apple of
his eye, they made sweet, sweet, passionate love under an apple tree."

He looked up, proud at being able to remember the whole tale and waited for
their reaction.  Hikari fell to the ground, being toppled over by a enormous
sweatdrop, while Toji's face was bright red from laughing.
" That's gotta be one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life!  Wow
what idiot thought that one up?"

Hikari gave him the glare and his mood suddenly sobered up.
" Uh..I mean, what a shame that these children have such active imaginations."

She shook her head at him in despair, finished her lunch, looked at her watch
and declared:
" Well enough of this nonsense, I'm gonna go find out from the source!"
Standing from the table she marched across the courtyard and turned into the

Kensuke loked at Toji,
" Well she has you perfectly trained."
" What was that?"
Toji retorted, baring his teeth and waving a fist threateningly.
Kensuke stood up,
<Ahem>, " I said that she has you perfectly trained", then he sprinted off after
Hikari, hoping he could find safety in her presence.  Toji wasn't far behind.

Our eye-glassed hero was speeding through the hallway, glancing back at Toji
every now and then to make sure he still had a good lead.  As it happened, one
of the times he glanced back was just before he made it to the door of the
classroom.  Since he wasn't watching where he was going, he plowed into the back
of Hikari, who, until then, had been standing, slack-jawed at the door.

They would have been fine, except for the fact that Toji slipped on  puddle of
spilt milk and slid into the back of Hikari and Kensuke, hurtling them through
the door and onto the hard floor of the classroom, which startled Shinji and
Asuka, who jumped back from each other and continued the tasks they had been
assigned, but with a blush on their faces.
( One sentence and it wasn't run on, how amazing was that?)

Hikari's voice shot out of the pile of people, causing Shinji and Asuka to
cringe slightly:
" Ohmigod what were you two doing?  That's soooooo cute!!!!!!"
She leapt from the pile, somehow separating herself from Kensuke and Toji,
pointing a finger at first Asuka, then Shinji.
" They were kissing!  I saw it I saw it!  The rumours must be true, well at
least some of 'em!"

Toji and Kensuke muttered some incoherent nonsense, as they were still
struggling to get untangled.  Meanwhile Asuka jumped in front of Hikari and
clamped a hand across her mouth.  As she dragged Hikari from the room she made
eye contact with Shinji and shrugged.


" And that's how it happened.  You knew I kinda liked him, why're you so
Asuka sat on the windowsill in the girl's bathroom, as Hikari paced the floor.  
She had just finished relating to her friend the adventures of the morning and
was now waiting for a reaction.

Hikari finally removed her chin from her hand,
" I don't know it's just weird!  Everyone knew you liked him, but
I didn't think that he'd ever grow the balls to ask you out, and I didn't think
you'd lower your pride enough to accept."  she received a dark glare for that
one, but Hikari knew how to handle the ill-tempered one.
" It's so kawaii!  Two of earth's defenders, fighting for each others love. <
Sigh> It's like something out of a movie, so romantic!  You're lucky."

" But what about Toji?  I thought he and you were....well....."
Asuka prodded, trying to even the score.

Hikari dropped her gaze, reddening slightly,
" Oh, well, we are...kinda, but I mean...well, he's not exactly the most
romantic guy around, but I mean...uh, well he's got this...oh I don't know, he's
got this other side to him that's like for me only.  I don't know...."

She grinned up at Asuka
" I guess I just don't know!  Now stop trying to change the subject!  What about
Rei?  Has anyone said anything to her?"

Asuka sighed
" Ok, me and blunderboy have been dating now for about three hours.  It wasn't
planned, very spontaneous, there wasn't much time to tell anyone.  And Rei can
go kiss my ass for all I care.  In fact I hope she did want Shinji so I can get
into a fight with her or something."

Hikari shook her head and rolled her eyes.
" You do realize that you're hopeless don't you."

Just then the bell rang.  Asuka jumped down to the floor and followed Hikari out
of the bathroom.
" Oh and one thing pigtails.  Keep it under your hat, I don't need to have the
whole school privy to my business."

Hikari grinned and winked at Asuka.
" You know you can trust me Asuka!  You're secrets safe with me!"


Nearly a mile down, and just a tad to the right ( Thanks to Jackson Ferrel)
Ritsuko finally snapped.  She sat upright in her chair and started to laugh out
loud.  As her giggling slowed, she jumped out of her seat and ran over to Maya.  
Grabbing Maya in a big bear hug she pulled the technichian out of her chair and
proceeded to dance with her across the control room.  Maya giggled as Ritsuko
led her in a neat little jig.

Realeasing Maya, Ritsuko turned to the garbage can in the corner ( Perhaps the
only thing in the room that is not more expensive than anything in MY LIFE!) and
began to kick it furiously and violently.  Done with the garbage abuse, Ritsuko
turned her gaze up to the Commander's office, where she knew he was watching.

Giving the office the classic " Beedah!", Ritsuko marched out of the room
calling over her shoulder.
" FUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS!  I'm going to sleep!  You can suck my left big toe Gendo
Ikari for all I care!  Put the damn S2s in yourself.  See ya tomorrow Maya!"

Maya watched her leave, sweatdrops clinging to her head.
* WOW!  I never ever ever in my whole life thought I'd ever see that!*
" So now what do I do?"
she asked the Magi system, which quietly hummed in response.

Looking around she realized that she was quite alone.  It was sorta spooky.
" Hello?  Is anyone there?  HELLOOOOOO!!!!???"
She shivered slightly for no reason
* It sure is spooky down here.....*


" Hello!!!..... Yes I am at 123 Elm St. Apartment 26B........  Uh Huh, please
hurry!.....Me? Nothing.......Yes really.......No I'm fine!!!!  It's not
me!......It's my pet!......Don't hang up! C'mon!.......I think I killed
him!.......Trying to make him breakfast........Are you coming or
what?......Please.......What!?!?.....Well uh.....36-25-34.......Maybe if you
hurry.....and if you're cute......Well hurry up!!!!.......I swear if my penguin
dies........I know that........Hurry! <Click>"
Misato slammed the phone down, red faced.

On the floor Pen-Pen writhed in pain, the remains of a fish lay next to him.  He
squawked weakly, rubbing his stomach with his flippers.  Looking accusingly at
Misato he squawked some more, and tried to peck her foot.

" Ow!  I'm sorry Pen-Pen!!!  I was just trying to make you breakfast!!!  How was
I supposed to know that you can't simmer a fish in curry and beer to thaw it
out!!!!!  I called 911, I think they're coming to help you."

The penguin just glared at her angrily and contuned to roll around on the floor,
in obvious pain.


Well there we have it.  Chapter one of Imagine Normality.  I remember saying
that about a year ago when I finished chapter one of the first version.  Well
I'm having fun and that's all that matters to me.

Phat shout to all those who helped me out with this. Chenalos, EbaronE,
BakaAndy, Axel, and anyone else I forgot.

A special shout out to the archives...SDAT ( Thanks Andre!), Everything Anime (
Thanks Greg!)

Oh yes..this is very important.


Peace look for part two in a while I guess..... ( author of: " Fan Fiction", " The Entry Plug Trilogy", and
many more great fics that you need to read) ( Author of " The Child of Love" and " An Amnesic